Ask Christopher West

Attracted to Younger Men, Sacramentality of Marriage, and Woman Created for Man | ACW312

December 23rd, 2024  |  55 mins 33 secs

catholic, catholic answers, catholic podcast, catholic questions, christian, christopher west, faith formation, faith questions, john paul ii, jpii, theology of the body, theology of the body institute

1. I strive for holiness and go to daily Mass & Rosary but from past wounds I’ve realized that my wounded interior girl longs to be loved, recognized & accepted by men. For this reason I tend to love men much younger than me. I also have disordered feelings and thoughts toward men that strive for holiness like priests & seminarians. I feel ashamed and reject myself for feeling this. How can I deal with these feelings and passions and accept myself in my brokenness?
2. In your podcast you said that the union between man and woman in this life is a sign pointing to the union of people & God in the next and when we get to heaven we will no longer need the sign. This makes sense but at the same time, does that mean that marriage has no objective value in itself? If I get married, am I supposed to say to my wife that our relationship is only a means for me to become closer to God or only a sign towards something else? If I really fall in love with someone and marry her, how could I wish to stop being married after I die? If people only get married because we view it as a temporary part of our journey to heaven then it seems like we’re using the other person instead of valuing them for their own sake but if we value the person for their own sake and not just for the religious significance then wouldn’t we want to still be together in heaven?
3. Could you share some TOB light on 1 Corinthians 11:9 and the verses surrounding it. What does it mean that the woman was created for the man and not the other way around? As a newly married woman, how can this speak to how I view my role as a wife?

The 4 Identity Ruptures, 5 Years Since Last Union, and Selfishness Sinkhole | ACW311

December 16th, 2024  |  44 mins 18 secs

catholic, catholic answers, catholic podcast, catholic questions, christian, christopher west, faith formation, faith questions, john paul ii, jpii, theology of the body, theology of the body institute

Questions answered this episode:


1. Did John Paul II identify the 4 ruptures?
2. My husband and I have been married for over 35 years. We’ve been through very difficult challenges in our married life and my body is not capable of intercourse. It’s been 5 years since our last union. Why do I feel shame about myself and my inability to give what I don’t have? What does the Bible mean with the words “give himself up for her” from Ephesians 5?
3. I’m a 27 yo man who has never been in a romantic relationship. What bothers me is that I’ve never had a desire to be in a relationship. Seems like this lack of desire for a relationship partly stems from selfishness. How can I work towards becoming less selfish and truly seek the good that can be found in union with another person?

The Unbaptized in the Body of Christ, Healing After ED, and Appreciating "Sexual Values" | ACW310

December 9th, 2024  |  54 mins 40 secs

catholic, catholic answers, catholic podcast, catholic questions, christian, christopher west, faith formation, faith questions, john paul ii, jpii, theology of the body, theology of the body institute

Questions answered this episode:


1. How do unbaptized people fit into the body of Christ?
2. My husband and I are new Catholics. We both have a past in regards to sexual sin. While dating we frequently had to stop ourselves in times of passion and it seemed like he was always aroused when we were together. Then we got married and all of that went away. He never wanted to have sex in the earlier part of our marriage while I did. 2 and a half years later we have significantly decreased the frequency of our union. How can we seek healing and move forward and grow closer together in this?
3. I’m constantly worried about looking lustfully. I want to be able to appreciate sexual beauty as you describe in one of your YouTube videos but I’m afraid that opening myself to that can lead to lust. Could you explain these topics deeper?

True Chastity, Labor Pains After Baptism, and Beauty in the Life of a Christian | ACW309

December 2nd, 2024  |  40 mins 52 secs

catholic, catholic answers, catholic podcast, catholic questions, christian, christopher west, faith formation, faith questions, john paul ii, jpii, theology of the body, theology of the body institute

1. I’ve been fighting the good fight for chastity and I was managing well but it’s become much more difficult now that I have a girlfriend. Do you recommend I break up with her?
2. If we are freed from original sin at our baptism, why do we still experience labor pains?
3. What is the role of beauty in the life of a Christian? How can beauty help me deepen my relationship with God?

Healing the Martial Embrace If I Experienced Sexual Abuse, Looking Away from Immodest Women, Receptivity as a Man | ACW308

November 25th, 2024  |  44 mins 59 secs

catholic, catholic answers, catholic podcast, catholic questions, christian, christopher west, faith formation, faith questions, john paul ii, jpii, theology of the body, theology of the body institute

1. I’m familiar with what the TOB teaches about the marital embrace and the mutual self giving that occurs there. It’s difficult to understand this in my heart. Prior to marriage I experienced multiple episodes of sexual abuse. I engage in relations with my husband to be a gift to him. I know it is important to love him in that way. However in my heart it doesn’t feel like a gift to me. It’s only a reminder of how my body has been used by other people. When people talk about this being a pleasurable experience, their words sound non-sensical to me. Then I feel guilt and shame because I don’t experience these as I “should”. Do you have any advice?
2. If a woman is dressed inappropriately, shouldn’t I look away?
3. In the union in one flesh, should the man because of what he represents always be focusing on making his wife feel loved or is it okay sometimes to focus on receiving? Would that distort the sign he’s called to represent?

Making Peace with Girlfriend’s Past, True Respect in the Bedroom, & Favorite Musicians in Heaven | ACW307

November 18th, 2024  |  52 mins 21 secs

catholic, catholic answers, catholic podcast, catholic questions, christian, christopher west, faith formation, faith questions, john paul ii, jpii, theology of the body, theology of the body institute

1. I’m a 21 year old college student. I’m struggling to make peace with my girlfriend’s sexual past. I’ve experienced healing but remain very wounded. My girlfriend repents of her past but has also lied to me about some of the details she has shared. Some of those details I find deeply troubling. On the one hand, I understand we should show mercy, embrace the wounds of those we love and remind them that they are not defined by their mistakes. On the other hand, I can’t help but feel disgusted. I’m invaded with thoughts of her past actions and I feel no desire for her any more. I want to love her well but I can’t seem to overcome this. Do you have any advice?
2. I’m 48 and in the world of dating after divorce and annulment. While I know that life & pregnancy is the purpose of the marital embrace, at my age it is unlikely to happen. How do I convey that to someone who is likely thinking that at our age the act is purely for pleasure. Is it enough for a spouse to just “respect me in the bedroom”?
3. How do you pray for your favorite musicians? How can heaven be heaven if there’s a possibility of my favorite musicians not being there?

Fear of Marriage, Husband Opposed to Tubal Ligation Reversal, and Fear of Pushing Boyfriend Away | ACW306

November 11th, 2024  |  41 mins 29 secs

catholic, catholic answers, catholic podcast, catholic questions, christian, christopher west, faith formation, faith questions, john paul ii, jpii, theology of the body, theology of the body institute

1. My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years now. She’s in her second year of medical school. We both desire a chaste relationship. We both have a good understanding of the TOB but also fail to live it at times. Now that we've started to talk about marriage, sometimes she feels like she’s ready but there are also times when she shares that she thinks she doesn't want to have children and to get married. Do you have any insights?
2. I've been married for 19 years. My husband and I have four children. We attended a healing program after an affair 12 years ago and I had a tubal ligation after my fourth C-section when I was told it would be "unsafe" to have any more children. The Lord has been working in my life and my husband’s over the past few years. I’ve been pursuing a tubal reversal but he is not in agreement. He will l not tell me no to do it because he says it is my body and doesn’t want me to resent him. He is resistant and is comfortable with contraception. Do I continue to move forward with the reversal without his support?
3. I’m currently going through a conversion process. I realize that I committed many sins in the past and I’ve made decisions to let go of certain things in my life. There's one thing, though, that keeps causing me anxiety every day. I'm in a committed relationship with my boyfriend and we've been together for three years and living together for 1 year. We're talking about marriage, but it won't happen anytime soon. He’s not going through the same conversion process as me and is very skeptical towards the Church. Ironically, it has been his love and godly values that have drawn me closer to Jesus. He is a christian, but doesn’t believe in the laws and so on. I'm scared of asking him for us to not have sex until we get married. I fear this will push him away from me and from our faith. I don't want to put our relationship on the line because I feel deep down that we were put together by God's will but I also don’t want to keep sinning by having sex when I also know that that offends God.

Lingerie in Marriage, Stretch Marks, and Spiritual & Physical Intimacy with God | ACW305

November 4th, 2024  |  39 mins 53 secs

catholic, catholic answers, catholic podcast, catholic questions, christian, christopher west, faith formation, faith questions, john paul ii, jpii, theology of the body, theology of the body institute

1. What role does lingerie have in the intimate union of man & wife? Can it be a beautiful & holy part of the marital embrace? If so, how?
2. My wife and I have had our first baby recently and along with that blessing there have been some difficult changes for our early 20’s. My wife is struggling with body image issues. Unfortunately she has severe stretch marks across her abdomen as a result of the pregnancy. Acquaintances have made her feel bad about herself. She expresses concerns that I might find her ugly but I do my best to assure her that this is not the case. My love and affection for her has only grown seeing her become a mother. How can I help her see the beauty of God’s plan in all of this?
3. What exactly do you mean when you say that intimacy within marriage is a reflection of God’s love? Does God want to have intimacy with us but spiritually instead of physically?

Sexual Past of Fiancé, Moral Teaching of the Church, and Medical Student With Porn Struggle | ACW304

October 28th, 2024  |  47 mins 49 secs

catholic, catholic answers, catholic podcast, catholic questions, christian, christopher west, faith formation, faith questions, john paul ii, jpii, theology of the body, theology of the body institute

1. My fiancé shared more with me about his past and surprisingly I was calm and received him with mercy. I’m not sure if it was the initial shock of hearing him share these vulnerable moments of his past or because I had previously wondered and assumed there was some sexual brokenness there. I thank God for my response and hope that my fiancé seeing me receive him with mercy brings more healing. I know in the past when he shared difficult things with me I initially felt calm but would later experience so much pain wondering about his previous relationships. How can we deal with these things in the future?
2. We are protestants who are taking RCIA and learning about Catholicism. We’re reading your book “Good News About Sex & Marriage” and I was wondering if you could explain how Church authority & moral teaching relate to what is found in Scripture. Does the Church get its moral teaching from the Bible?
3. I am a health scientist student. I struggled with porn & lustful thoughts. In this upcoming semester there are units on female health. This would include topics regarding the female breasts and genitals. I’m worried that my past will come back during these units. Would it be responsible for me to excuse myself during these units? I know that these images and videos are not intended to be pornographic, but is it possible that they would be pornographic for me? Is pornographic imagery relative to the viewer?

Eve Out for the Rib, Am I Too Uptight?, and Loving My Husband After an Affair | ACW303

October 22nd, 2024  |  44 mins 54 secs

catholic, catholic answers, catholic podcast, catholic questions, christian, christopher west, faith formation, faith questions, john paul ii, jpii, theology of the body, theology of the body institute

1. Is there a particular theological significance of Eve being created from a rib out of Adam’s side?
2. My boyfriend enjoys watching videos & movies that fall into the comedy category, which is not my favorite genre. This is not something I enjoy. There are times when I find these movies painful to my heart because of the content they have. Am I just being too uptight? Should I try to be more open?
3. A few years ago, before I was Catholic, I got to a place that was so dark that led me to have an affair. My marriage is in a stage of reconciliation. I have an amazing husband to walk this journey with me. How do I open myself up to him and be comfortable loving him with the same body that I used to hurt him so badly?

TOB Elevator Pitch, Young Mother Open to Dating & Genuine Connection of Those With SSA | ACW302

October 15th, 2024  |  53 mins 44 secs

catholic, catholic answers, catholic podcast, catholic questions, christian, christopher west, faith formation, faith questions, john paul ii, jpii, theology of the body, theology of the body institute

1. What is a good elevator pitch for the Theology of the Body?
2. I became pregnant at 17. With the help of my parents and a pregnancy resource center, my son and I have been able to have a very happy life. He’s now 2 and I’m about to turn 20. I’m not with the father of my child. He sees his son from time to time but I’m the one who cares for him. I’m okay with this, but I just don’t know when or how would be the right way to start dating again. I’ve been single since my pregnancy began. I’ve also done a lot of work with myself and became closer to Mary & Jesus. I feel ready to meet new people but I’m not sure how to go about that. I feel isolated in my situation. Do you have any advice?
3. Can the deep genuine connection between “homosexuals” become holy by refraining from sinful behavior? What would the Church suggest for these couples to do?

M*sturbation & Using Oneself, Inviting the Lord Into Our Shameful Places, and Arranged Marriages | ACW301

October 7th, 2024  |  45 mins 56 secs

catholic, catholic answers, catholic podcast, catholic questions, christian, christopher west, faith formation, faith questions, john paul ii, jpii, theology of the body, theology of the body institute

1. When JPII talks about using another person as a means to an end I always imagine a couple but what happens in the case of a single person who seeks to give pleasure to him or herself? Is the person using him or herself? To what extend does that affect the person or others? Why does this sin leaves a feeling of loneliness?
2. How do I make steps to open those places to the Lord and to know that He’s not repulsed by what will come out and not ashamed of me because of my porn & masturbation addiction?
3. What does TOB have to say about arranged marriages?